Let's pretend we're and episode of "Green Acres".

I'm the telephone at the top of the telephone pole outside the Douglas's bedroom window.

The only thing about this show I remember is the theme song.

How many gay men just like to sing the Eva Gabor parts?

"New York is where I'd rather stay. I get allergic smelling hay. I just adore a penthouse view. DAHling, I love you but give me Park Avenue."

I know I do sometimes.^^^^^

[quote]How many gay men just like to sing the Eva Gabor parts?

[quote]I know I do sometimes.

As this YouTube clip shows, so does Eb. (Though he's probably not gay.)

I'm hot fudge but I'm supposed to be coffee being poured from Lisa's percolator at breakfast.

I'm the "hotcakes" Lisa makes and at one point Oliver is able to use as spare parts for his tractor.

I'm the hot water soup Lisa also makes and Eb likes.

I'm the sliding closet door.

I'm the 1966 Lincoln Continental convertible.

Other than the Mustang, I'm pretty much the only Ford product from the 1960s people remember.

I'm...uh...uh...Mr. uh.... Mr. uh....

Kimble!

I recently began watching this show and I love it.

Over the top in the best of ways.

I'm Oliver's mother, Eunice, who was the voice of Disney's original Maleficent.

I'm the thriving metropolis of Pixley, which is large enough to have its own television station serving not only Pixley, but also Hooterville, and Crabwell Corners.

I'm Arnold Ziffel, a pig, and I received more fan mail than all the other actors/characters combined.

I am the General Services Studio on Las Palmas Boulevard in Hollywood. Even though Green Acres was a rural comedy, everything was filmed indoors on a soundstage.

I'm Sam Drucker, doing double duty by appearing on both Green Acres and Petticoat Junction.

I'm Coconut Lady, and I raced at the Hooterville Monkey Racing Track. We monkeys chased a lure which was a banana on a stick.

Race occurs shortly after 26:00.

Lisa was the only sane person in town.

[quote] we're and episode

Oh, dear.

I'm Mr. Haney here to sell Oliver Douglas a new fangled contraption for his farm.

I'm the voluptuous bed, the only piece of furniture rescued from NYC

I'm the Jean Louis gown or peignoir in every episode.

I am the pink appliances in Lisa's kitchen.!

I'm the show's stars: Van Johnson and Zsa Zsa Gabor.

I am the toast popping out of the pink toaster with the credits for that week's episode.

"I AM NOT YOUR DAD!!!!". Poor Eb.

I am the Written Bys that Lisa always notices as the show opens.

Lisa pronounced it “Hootersville”.

I'm Barbara Pepper. I'm the lush that came thisclose to being cast as Ethel Mertz!

I am Oliver's constant ,incessant harangue!

I am the crops that lured Oliver to rural living. I never take off, though.

I'm a Filmvaze presentation, dahlink.

I'm Arnold doing calculus in the corner of the sty.

[quote]I'm Barbara Pepper. I'm the lush that came thisclose to being cast as Ethel Mertz!

I'm Fran Ryan. I took over for that lush after she finally croaked.

Loved Eva's wardrobe!

I'm Sophie Loren, and I accept calls from Hooterville, to no one's surprise but Oliver's.

This is a much better show than many people know. If you really watch it, the humor is seriously weird. On the surface it's just another country comedy like Beverly Hillbillies, but it actually seems like creators and writers were on acid.

I'm the big, tall, thick, hard pole that Olee-ver likes to use whenever he talks on the phone.

I am the fife playing in the distance that Lisa hears from time to time and wonders about and usually asks Who is playing that fife?

[quote]I'm the thriving metropolis of Pixley

I'm the seedy bath house in Pixley. Eb is here at least once a week.

I'm Pixley's version of the 21-gun salute.

Sam Drucker: "But we've only got three rifles. So we had to three-ball her seven times!"

I'm Eddie Albert's bare torso and I'm really not bad at all.

I'm Ava Garbor's matching chiffon nightgown and dressing gown, trimmed in marabou feathers.

I'm the siding on the house. In one episode they attempt to paint me, only Im so weathered that it gets sucked into the wood and disappears. When they finally find something that covers, it suffocates me and my wheezing and gasping for air keeps Oliver and Lisa up at night.

I'm a Midcentury Modern occasional chair in leopard skin fabric.

I'm Lisa Douglas' gorgeous gown in the opening credits and I influenced the fashion designer career dream of many a young gayling.

I'm the "basket"hound, Cynthia Haney, who was on only one episode. Arnold and I were in love, but it was't meant to be. No one was ready for a mixed and different species relationship.

“This has been a Filmways presentation darling!”

I'm the aerial shot during the opening credits, which makes the town look like face scenery around a toy Lionel train set.

I'm Mr. Drucker's store, which apparently was the Trader Joe's of its day.

R49, that was supposed to be FAKE scenery.

R12, I always thought Ralph was NOT A LESBIAN , that was the joke. She was a homely woman waiting for her inner beauty to escape and bring her , her prince charming.

my aunt who actually was a farmer's wife loved this show. the absurdist touches are my favorite parts. one of the actors appeared in Brando's The Wild One.

he was Alvy Moore and he played Hank Kimball & is uncredited in the Wild One

Love you R44 I had forgotten that. The writers must have been smoking something.

It's funny, R44, I was a young home improvement gayling (always rearranging the family furniture, etc.) and when the paint on the house got sucked in, I was so disappointed. I always love a good 'before' and 'after' story!

I'm Mrs. Ziffel, and I got slightly prettier when I was recast (but not by much).

I'm Arnold. I was a huge star. But I ended up as the filing in someone's BLT.

I'm the Hooterville Cannonball. Once Donald Trump reopens the coal mines, I'll be back in business.

As a kid going through puberty when this show was on I wanted to spank and fuck both Eb and Mr. Kimball, forget Eva Gabor.

[quote]I'm Oliver's mother, Eunice, who was the voice of Disney's original Maleficent.

Eleanor Audley, who was also the voice of the wicked stepmother in Disney's "Cinderella."

[quote]I'm the "hotcakes" Lisa makes and at one point Oliver is able to use as spare parts for his tractor.

Lisa pronounced it "hotscakes." In one episode, the opening credits appeared on her hotscakes.

"The writers must have been smoking something."

I always believed that's why they called it "Hooterville".

I'm Lori, the little girl Oliver and Lisa took in during the sixth season.

My arrival, like that of Cousin Oliver on the Brady Bunch and Ricky on The Partridge Family, signaled that the show was running on fumes and would be canceled soon.

I'm Tom Lester, who played Eb, and I'm the only surviving principal cast member.

[quote] I'm Sam Drucker, doing double duty by appearing on both Green Acres and Petticoat Junction.

And Beverly Hillbillies.

I'm the batshit crazy set that annoyed the hell out of gaylings. Every time you thought a home improvement could be made, something would fuck it up. It was unsettling. And messy.

I'm Earth Day. My date is the birthday of Eddie Albert, who was a big environmental activist.

I'm Darlene, the girl Ed is engaged to marry.

After Green Acres ends, I'll go on to play Sophia Capwell on Santa Barbara, as well as Miranda Bishop on Another World and Valerie Conway on As The World Turns.

[quote]the girl Ed is engaged to marry

Oh, dear.

I’m the nearby hospital, Cedars of Pixley!

Or maybe the telephone that Lisa tried mimic, “Number, puh-leaahze!”

Never realized until years later how smart and funny the show was!

D’oh — the telephone OPERATOR Lisa tried to mimic, “Number, puh-leaahze!”

I'm Lisa, being woken up by the credits running in their bedroom in the middle of the night.

"Oleevah! Dere vas a NAME in ze DARK!"

"Go to sleep, Lisa."

"Dere vas ANUDDER vun!"

I’m Molly Turgiss AFTER Lisa gives me a makeover, because according to Lisa, “you are only as ugly as you look!”

r33

I'm Marjorie Main who people confuse with Fran Ryan

r33

I'm Walter Kenneth Wayne, Fran's first husband who died in a plane crash while Fran was pregnant.

r78

I'm Howard Schafer, Fran's second husband who also, too coincidentally died in a plane crash and whose remains were never found

I’m Peter Greeter the meter reader.

Didn’t Oliver also use Lisa’s hotscakes to shingle the roof?

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